Senator Graham, Senator Graham!

"Senator Graham! If the Democratic Party were a man, how big would his dick be?"

Posted by Aaron at 01:01 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Reservoir Breach in Missouri: Bush's Fault?

More evidence of Bush wanting people to die?

Water poured through a breach at a hydroelectric plant's rural reservoir in southeast Missouri on Wednesday morning, washing away homes and vehicles, authorities said.

A family of five was rescued after the breach about 5:30 a.m. at AmerenUE's Taum Sauk Lake Hydroelectric Plant, the Reynolds County Sheriff's Department said.

One person had been feared missing, but was later accounted for, sheriff's dispatcher Ginger Bell told CNN.

Conditions along the Black River, where the plant is situated, were considered dangerous, the National Weather Service said.

The plant is in the Ozarks, about 120 miles southwest of St. Louis.

Come on, ironclad proof that the Bush administration has it in for the little guy. How else to explain what seems to be unexplainable? After all, it wasn't blamed on the rain, and engineers have yet to find the reason for the breach.

What? No one cares? I forgot...it must be because the Ozarks are hillbilly country, and everyone knows hillbillies don't count.

Back to our regular scheduled programming.

Posted by Pam at 10:04 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Feminists Laud First Female Suicide Bomber in Iraq

(The following piece is a political satire.)

The first known woman suicide bomber in Iraq, killing at least six Iraqi army recruits and wounding 35, has been hailed as a trailblazer by feminists.

Gloria Steinem, considered the mother of modern feminism, had only words of praise for the nameless woman. "When a woman steps into a role formerly dominated by men and makes it her own, then women everywhere benefit by her courage and fortitude. She is an example of where perseverance and persistence can bring you." Steinem then had a pertinent question regarding the bombing. "Was she wearing a bra?"

Echoing those sentiments was Eve Ensler, creator of the Vagina Monologues and crusader against violence toward women. "She sounds like an amazing person. By killing these men she is fighting back against the cycle of violence perpetrated by men upon women. Of course, it's too bad she had to die with them. I hope she shouted, 'My vagina wins!' when she pulled the cord."

Others were wondering how they could be a part of this groundbreaking occurrence. Lawyer Lynne Stewart offered to help with the woman's defense, but upon being reminded that the woman was dead, revised her offer to defending those who recruited the female bomber--should they decide to go public. "Of course, they'll have to wait until I find out how long I'll be in prison," the convicted lawyer chuckled.

Even some Hollywood stars are in awe of this woman whom they have never met, and now never will. "It's like, so totally awesome," said Cameron Diaz, host of the MTV show Trippin'. " "I'd love to try that on my show, but, um, I don't think the producers would go for it. It's way too dangerous. But I'm with her in spirit, you know?" she added as she boarded her private jet with Drew Barrymore as they flew to an impoverished country in Africa to shoot another episode of the program.

Finally, grieving mother Cindy Sheehan blamed the woman's act on President Bush. "People are saying this woman was brainwashed, or maybe even forced, into doing this heroic act," she declared from her jail cell in Washington D.C. "But I know what she was thinking. She knew that by blowing herself up and taking a few evil Iraqi army recruits with her, she was actually going to blow a big hole in the reason for the U.S. being in Iraq. I'd love to meet her mother. Maybe she can join my tour."

Posted by Pam at 09:01 PM | Comments (7) | TrackBack