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August 24, 2006
George Bush Hates Small Planets
News is breaking that the Bush administration has no plan for the solar system:
After a tumultuous week of clashing over the essence of the cosmos, the International Astronomical Union stripped Pluto of the planetary status it has held since its discovery in 1930. The new definition of what is -- and isn't -- a planet fills a centuries-old black hole for scientists who have labored since Copernicus without one.
Democrats issued the following press release:
"For too long, this administration has taken its eye of the celestial ball by focusing too much time and too many resources on Iraq. George Bush's policies of tax cuts for the gas giants and willful neglect of lesser planetoids have brought us to this place.
"Most Americans agree with our position that the constitution provides for Pluto's minority rights. Surveys show that almost 2/3's of Americans now believe that demoting Pluto was a mistake and that this administration purposefully and willfully mislead this Congress and the people by claiming Pluto had weapons of mass destruction.
" We need a new direction in our solar system. We must redeploy our resources to better serve our interests in the outer solar system, and our plan asks for that to be completed by the end of 2007."
Posted by Aaron at August 24, 2006 10:41 AM
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Comments
Yeah, that's just like Bush. Always puttin' down the small guy.
What's next? Tax cuts for Jupiter and Saturn??
Posted by: Gunslinger at August 24, 2006 11:49 AM
I've had it with the neo-con agenda! BUSH LIED, PLANETS GOT RE-CLASSIFIED!!!!
Posted by: Floyd at August 24, 2006 12:06 PM
If Pluto was made of Frozen Oil, we'd be seeing a different atttude here.
Posted by: paul at August 24, 2006 12:22 PM
Hey! At least he did something. I fully expected him to kick this problem down the road. I still remember 8 years of Clinton trying to appease the small planet fanatics.
Posted by: MagicalPat at August 24, 2006 02:23 PM
Funny, funny stuff guys!
Posted by: Charles at August 24, 2006 08:24 PM
Don't worry. He'll give Pluto amnesty once Pluto crosses the planetary border.
Posted by: kfish at August 25, 2006 09:43 AM
What will happen to Pluto's "share" of taxpayer funds? Will they be divided up amongst the residents of the other planets? Is Charles Rangel going to stand up for the disinfranchised of Pluto and their loss of status? What is Hillary's stand on this?
It has to be a conspiracy involving Cheney and Halliburton. Or maybe it is a Zionist plot.
Posted by: joe-6-pack at August 25, 2006 11:39 AM
I guess if you're a black person living on a small planet, you're REALLY screwed now...
Posted by: Marc at August 25, 2006 05:20 PM
I demand equal rights for small planets!
*puts on a moon-pattern beret*
Planetoid Power! Planetoid Power! Planetoid Power!
Posted by: Jachra at August 26, 2006 03:03 AM
Don't you mean an African-American living on a dwarf planet?
Posted by: paul at August 26, 2006 08:31 AM
"If Bush is a president, Pluto is a planet" :-)
Image at http://forum.fearbush.com/index.php?act=Attach&type=post&id=126
Posted by: nick at August 30, 2006 05:50 AM