Great answers to an infantile lefty. Keep up the good stuff.

Man, you ROCK!

Absolutely great answers! I was thinking of fisking this dweeb but WE'RE NOT WORTHY!

So I may, if I find the time, answer the very few questions I might have answered differently.

Only one minor quibble (with him, actually): #34 - greenhouse gases have nothing to do with ozone. He's confusing his envirodisaster talking points.

BTW, expect a trackback momentarily. You are now on my blogroll, man. If it doesn't show up, go to my url.

So, you say you're single, eh?

45. After dismissing Saddam Hussein's old Iraqi army, was it a good idea to let them keep their rifles?----------

Liberal Myth, Iraq's Army went home/deserted on it's own when it was obvious it was all over and Saddam couldn't kill then and their families if they bugged out.

Now that the cheering section has made you feel good why don't you post this where somebody with the time can deconstruct your answers. I'll take #32. "Top ten things conservative have given America.

"Let me keep my money": Right. The "conservative" administration is spending more money than it's taking in and it has to come from somewhere. They're not letting you keep your money. They're just putting off the time when they'll have to collect it from you.

Emancipation Proclimation: An inherently non conservative document since it involves the government taking the personal property of sothern slave holders. You're confusing conservative with Republican.

End of the Cold War: We covered that yesterday. Reagan's military build up only prolonged the Cold War. We didn't "win" it. The Soviets just stopped participating. I notice that your not taking credit for Dwight Eisenhour or Curt LaMay for starting it in the first place.

13th Ammendment: See "Emancipation Proclimation" above. Once again you're confusing Conservative with Republican.

14th Ammendment: This is another ammendment passed at a time when the people that make up the current conservative base wasn't allowed to vote.

19th Ammendment: Womens Sufferage. Another famous conservative cause. Most of the suffegettes in the early 1900s were also socialists or communists. The conservative position was that women had fathers and husbands to vote for them.

Religious Freeedom: If by that you mean freedom to practice your chosen brand of Protestant Christianity, you may be right. But every argument I've ever heard against Gay Marraige and Death with Dignity boils down to "But it's againts my religion for you to do that". Yet those are the "moral issues" being pushed by "conservatives". What passes for conservatives these days only believe in freedom for their religion.

"All the wonderful things..." And how do you equate "clean water" with oil? Petrolium products have polluted more ground water then anything else. JD Rockerfeller funded the temperance movement in at 20s in order to force people to use petrolium instead of alcholol for transportation and we're only now getting back to it. Almost as many plastics are now made from peanuts and soyabeans as petrolium. And since you brought up Healthcare, there are fewer biocompatibility problems with soya based plastics. I work as an engineer for Tyco Healthcare. Synthetic fibers? The first one, Nylon, was originally made from mulberry leaves.
Light and heat? You're thinking of coal. Or hydroelectric, or natural gas. Not oil.

Welfare Emancipation: Welfare to Work was pushed and passed by William Jefferson Clinton. Who, come to think of it, is much closer to a real Goldwater conservative than any of the "conservatives" you seem to support.

"#45 - After dismissing Saddam Hussein's old Iraqi army, was it a good idea to let them keep their rifles?"

So, what? The guy is saying that we SHOULD just conquer Iraq? The problem isn't the rifles, it's that they keep using them on us.

All in all, excellent work here. Thanks for weeding through the insanity so we don't have to.

Oh, and when I get time I can reconstruct the deconstruction, there... but in brief, Aaron shouldn't have said "END the Cold War," he should have said "WON the Cold War." Our military buildup prevented the Soviet regime from sustaining itself through conquest, and it collapsed. They "stopped participating" in the same sense that a dead horse "stopped participating" in the Kentucky Derby.

And how is Emancipation "government confiscation of southern property"? The Union didn't steal the slaves, they made them free.

Reagan "prolonged" the cold war? Unbelievable.

"I notice that your not taking credit for Dwight Eisenhour or Curt LaMay for starting it in the first place."

I will then. Major kudos to Eisenhower and LeMay (and also to all the Democrats from Truman through Humphrey) for starting the cold war rather than capitulate to communist tyrants.

Dear Notbacchus,
When you write "Now that the cheering section has made you feel good why don't you post this where somebody with the time can deconstruct your answers" do you mean a place like maybe right here on a blog with open comments? Or maybe he should have dropped a link to this at the original HuffPo post? Oh wait...

Aaron - I know I've said this before, but I'm saying it again because it is SO deserved - you are MAGNIFICENT. I cannot imagine how proud your family must be of who you are as a human being and as a writer. I stand in awe of your talent, your humor and your humanity!

Gayle, you make me blush. I love you too!

15 Questions for Your Left Listing Friends, Loved Ones, and Acquaintances.
Do you want the U.S. to be weakened to the point that she can only defend her immediate border?
Have you ever heard of LOGCAP?
Do you know what a chapter vii UN Security Resolution allows?
Have you read the chapter vii UN Security Resolutions regarding Iraq?
Do you want to see limits placed on profit for large corps?
Do you want large corps to offer higher wages?
Do you want large corps to pay for employee insurance? Full coverage?
If you answered yes to 4 and then yes to either 5 or 6, how do you propose large corps do this if they are limited to a set amount of profit?
Have any of your "liberal" friends disappeared and then turned up murdered?
Have you been sent to Chinese or Russian style re-education camps?
Have you been stopped and questioned by a police officer concerning negative comments you have made about G.W.B. on the internet?
If you answered "no" to the above, doesn't that imply that your freedom of speech is still intact?
Have you ever disagreed with your friends on where to eat?
Were they violating your freedom of speech when they disagreed with you?
Your neighbor breaks into your house, moves in, starts eating your food, sleeping in your bed, and borrowing your car. Do you: shrug and let it happen?call the authorities and have your friend arrested?

Nightfly. What, exactly did we win at the end of the cold war? Yes, we did bankrupt the Soviet Union. So what. We almost bankrupt ourselves in the process. And one of the things Nixon did right was reaproachmnet with both the USSR and China. Instead of contiuing that process, I won't bother to discuss Carter of Ford, they were both worthless as Presidents, Reagan had to play "war president". Yes. He prolonged the cold war.

And the Union did infact confiscate many slaves and make them union soldiers. But that isn't the point. The government took the slaves away and didn't compensate the owners. It's like if the government decided to make your yard a national monument and didn't bother to pay you. I'm not arguing for slavery. I'm pointing out that the conservative movement can't take credit for emancipation both because it was a form of government taking and because Lincoln cannot possibly be considered a conservative.
This "We're the party of Lincoln" crap needs stop.
And people need to stop confusing the Republican party with conservatism. None of the last three republican presidents have been conservative. They have all expanded the federal government, increased the federal debt and misused our military for foriegn adventurism and political gain. Or are you confusing conservative with christian also?

OK DA, I'll bite.

1. The US is now spending more on it's military that the rest of the world combined. Beyond defending our own borders and keeping the shipping lanes open, no. We don't need to police the world. This was is common conservative viewpoint whenever we have a democratic president. But seems to be missing when a Republican is in office.

2. LOGCAP is the program used to "privatize" most logistical functions in the military. As a result of this "efficiency" we have a military that can't feed or supply itself because military contractors can't be ordered into hazardous areas. We also have a military that costs more for but has fewer soldiers and marines.

3. A chapter seven resolution authorizes the use of both economic and military force by member nations.

4. Yes, I have. It's been pretty well established that Iraq didn't actually have a NBC weapons program and no country could have complied with the requirement to account for every weapon in the country in less than 90 days. What's your point?

5. I want to see limits place on corporations, period. The company I work for was privately held when I started here, it's been bought by both AMP and TYCO and my benifits package got worse each time.

6. The point here is moot. Corporations will pay as little as they can get away with to those who are not in the upper echelons and pay as much to the directors and board members as they can get away with because they are not accountable to anyone. I work for TCO, remember?

7. NO. I think we should have universal health coverage in the United States to take the burden off of US companies and level the playing field with every other industrialize dcountry in the world.

8. See 7 and 8 above. Your socratic method sucks.

9. No. Have any of yours? We only support that sort of thing in Central America. And lately, Iraq.

10. Is this a rhetorical question?

11. I have in fact been stopped twice by local and once federal police on my way from a peace march.

12. Gee, you got me. Imagine my suprise to find that I still have a freedom gauranteed to me by the first ammendment. It ani't the government that steps on free speach it's "conservatives". Ask Natalie Mains how that works.

13/14 Are you trying to make a point or drawing an anaology here?

15. I'm going to assume this is another false analogy. Probably having to do with illegal immigration. I favor going after the employers rather than the illegals on the theory that if the jobs dry up they'll stop coming. This get's back to the problem of holding anybody in a corporations accountable.

Wow--another Ernst Roehm Republican. It's so sad that you suck up to (and most likely want to suck off) the people who want to see you dead for being queer. And guess what, peachy-face, it's not just fundamentalist Islamics!

You're just another scared faggot running under massa's skirt. You won't realize until it's too late that you'll suffer the same fate as Herr Roehm.

If I was scared, why on earth would I even be out of the closet?

Sorry, I dissent from your militant, nazi-style homocentric agenda.

There's more to life than cum.

That "50 Easy Questions" thing got forwarded to me one time too many. Too many buzzwords, not enough thought. So the following was posted to a few of the boards from whence the "50 questions" had been forwarded, and I have been accused of racism, plagarism, frigidity, indiscriminate fellatio, and other insults too numerous to mention.

Maybe it was the fact-checking that bothered people, judging by the quantity and use of profanity in their responses to what follows.

-------------------
Progressives spend lots of time thinking about nuanced things, so they should have no trouble at all answering these easy questions, which are by definition simple since they are asked by a Republican:
1. Name ten charities to which you made cash donations last year.

2. How much time did you spend last year forwarding e-mails asking people to write to congress to demand funding for social services? How much time last year did you spend doing hands-on work with social services organizations that provide direct service to the disadvantaged (eg, Meals on Wheels, homeless shelters, etc.)?

3. What amount in taxes did you pay to the federal and state government on account of your household help last year?

4. Would you let Ted Kennedy attend your daughter's wedding?

5. What is the last name of the man who mows your lawn?

6. Would you keep a Guantanamo detainee in your home if that would hasten the closure of the prison at Guantanamo?

7. One of the tenets of Islam is that non-believers are inferior. In order to show proper respect to your detainee's culture and beliefs, would you and your family convert to Islam?

8. If you and your family would not convert to Islam, would you and your family (a) provide your detainee with separate dishes and eating utensils from your family's (b) provide your detainee with his/her own separate bathroom and living areas (c) wear gloves when handling any item that belongs to or is used by your detainee (d) learn Arabic (e) provide all of the items listed in (a) through (d)?

9. Barbra Streisand makes her movies in Canada, where there are no U.S. workers, no U.S. union work rules and costs are cheaper. Explain how this helps the American worker in the quest for
a "living wage."

10. List the reasons why you would or would not invite the Democratic Party to take pictures of your grandmother's casket for the purpose of producing a fund-raising ad. Would it make any difference in your answer if Howard Dean showed up uninvited with a video camera and started filming the service?

11. Name the total number of months in which you were personally responsible for meeting a payroll, describe the business(es) in which you were personally responsible for meeting the payroll, and state whether the business is still in
operation.

12. State the total number of years and months you have drawn a paycheck. Of that number, how many were in the employ of a governmental unit, NGO, or
organization that was funded by tax money?

13.Would you allow Ted Kennedy drive the bridesmaids to the church for your
daughter's wedding? Estimate how many bridesmaids would arrive at the church alive if they were so chauffeured.

14. Your brother-in-law calls you to tell you that as a result of the flood of Birkenstocks manufactured in Indonesia, he has been let go from his job the Florsheim factory. Do you (a) call all your contacts and get him placed in another job which may be somewhat different than what he was used to doing or (b) direct him to a government program where he will receive training in
efficient assembly of Florsheim shoes?

15. The 2000 census reports that between 8 and 11 million illegal aliens resided in the United States, versus 2 million illegal aliens counted by the 1980 census. In 1980, 46.5% of the federal and states' prison population was black; in 2000, 65% of the prison population is black. Describe in detail how the increase in cheap illegal day labor has positively impacted economic opportunity for young men in the African-American community.

16. You are at a stop light and are rear-ended by a young Hispanic man who has glassy eyes and speaks little English. He also lacks insurance and a valid driver's license. Should you (a) lock him up (b) impound his car or (c) apologize for taking over "his" continent and let him go because he did not "know" that he needed insurance or a license,due to his inability to read and
understand English.

17. A requirement of naturalized citizenship is the ability to understand, read and write the English language. Explain in detail why ballots should be printed in any language other than English, and describe what you would do to
assure that voters are citizens of the United States.

18. Bilingual education provides (a) opportunity (b) diversity (c) a perpetual serf class.

19. Without going to Babelfish or a similar service, translate the following sentence:
" Me gusta la educacion bilingual porque quiero criadas baratas."

20. Nationwide, the cost of educating the children of illegals is estimated to be $7.6 billion per year. Should progressives who sympathize with la Raza and the Aztlan movement pay a special tax in order to help out with this cost? Why not?
21. In the 1950's the average family paid 24.6% of its total income out in local, state, and federal taxes and user fees. In 2006, the total tax burden
was 31.6% for the average family, meaning that 32 cents of every dollar earned went to pay taxes at the state, local and federal levels. Over that same period of time, inflation rate was 743.83%, meaning that a 1950 dollar is now worth 13 cents. In order to keep up with inflation and the tax burden, more households are two-income households. The top 25% of households yearly income starts at $50,000. Explain in detail how a couple consisting of a security guard married to a doctor's receptionist, each making $25,000 per year is "rich."

32. The children of all the Kennedys, John Kerry, Al Gore, Bill and Hillary Clinton all attended private schools. Explain in detail why the children of Taniqua Jackson and Jose Villalobos should not, and how remaining in public schools will provide the Jackson and Villalobos children the same opportunities enjoyed by the Kennedy, Kerry, Gore and Clinton offspring.

33. It was discovered after 9/11 that several Islamist "charities" made millions in puts on American corporations. Explain in detail how the New York Times publication of the details of the SWIFT program for tracking the movement of
terrorist money abroad will prevent a similar windfall to al Quaeda.

34. Name six Christian leaders of the past decade who have taken (or ordered the taking of) non-Christians hostage, beheaded non-Christians, or have preached that it is the duty of Christians to kill all non-Christians or force their
conversion on pain of death.

35. In 1994, then-president Bill Clinton (acting through former president Jimmy Carter) negotiated a trade pact/treaty with North Korea whereby food, oil, technology and a nuclear reactor would be provided to North Korea in exchange for North Korea's promise to use the technology solely for civilian purposes. Explain in detail the "civilian purposes" of North Korea's nuclear weapons
program and the long range missiles tested by North Korea in early July of 2006.

36. The first car bomb exploded in the World Trade Center in 1993. In 1996, terrorists attacked the military complex and Khobar Towers in Saudi Arabia, wounding hundreds of Americans and killing 19. In 1998, the American embassies in Dar-es-Salaam and Nairobi were bombed, killing 258 people. In 2000, 17 sailors were killed in the terrorist attack on the USS Cole. All of these
attacks were linked to al Quaeda. Osama bin Laden was offered to the Clinton administration for capture by Sudan in 1996, an unidentified Arab country in 2000. Neither Sandy Berger nor Clinton ever responded to the offers. 2,000 New Yorkers are dead today because bin Laden remained at large. Explain why Clinton did nothing to take Osama bin Laden into custody.

37. Your daughter's wedding reception has commenced. Will you allow Ted Kennedy to tend the bar? Explain in detail why you would or would not.

38. In the mid-1960's, Daniel Patrick Moynihan warned that the programs in War on Poverty would likely result in the destruction of the black family. All of the War on Poverty programs are in existence today, and the rate of illegimate
births in the black community has gone from 23% to 69%. 21% of kids of all races lived in poverty in 1965. 21% of kids of all races live in poverty in 2006. Aside from providing government jobs, and allowing progressives to rationalize decreased donations to charity, what has the Great Society/War on Poverty accomplished?

39. Your mother is in a coma after suffering a stroke. Since her quality of life is obviously not what it was, do you (a) slip some cyanide into her IV tube or (b) simply tie her to the bed, remove the IV, and have her slowly die of thirst and malnutrition?

40. Former Vice President Al Gore has made a movie which claims that climate change is caused by gas and the burning of fossil fuels. Should he cease
traveling in his private jet and his SUV, or should Michael Moore eat fewer nachos?

41. When was the last time you read the Koran, particularly books 9 and 15? Explain why the Koran is superior to the Bible, and why the public schools' teaching children to be Muslims does not violate the First Amendment, but having a memorial cross to fallen military on Mount Soledad does.

42. We all know that we all should do our share to help lessen the US's dependence on foreign oil, particularly for electrical generation. Explain why Teddy Kennedy (and a whole lot of other rich progressives)should not have to do his fair share by having the view off Martha's Vineyard altered by electricity-generating windmills.

43. Progressives have blocked drilling for oil off the US coastline in the Atlantic. The People's Republic of China has just signed a pact with Cuba, and will be drilling for oil in the Atlantic. Explain how the Chinese will be
environmentally responsible in the drilling and transport of the oil, and why it is more desirable that the Chinese have the oil than it is for the US to have it.

44. It has cost upwards of $24 million and three years of investigation of who leaked Valerie Plame's name to Robert Novak, who found her name in Joseph Wilson's biography in Who's Who. Explain why the leaking of Ms. Plame's name to the press is more heinous than the leaking of the details of the SWIFT program for tracking terrorist funds in foreign accounts to the New York Times.

45. If you were in a serious acccident and could not speak or move without assistance, would you want Michael Schiavo to be your nurse? What if it were your child who had been in the accident?

46. During the last great immigration, immigrants debarked at Ellis Island and were quarantined for communicable diseases and general physical fitness. Those who were diseased were sent back to their country of origin. Few of the immigrants could initially speak English. The immigrants who made it past Ellis Island learned English, and most were European. Explain why it is not
racist to allow people who have deadly diseases and who refuse to learn English to walk across the border and take up permanent residence in the United States.

47. Explain why Andrea Yates' drowning of her five children was not a late-term abortion. Would your answer be different if she had simply driven sharp
scissors into the bases of their skulls?

48. The wedding guests are now departing. Another Kennedy is in attendance as well, and wishes to escort some of the more fetching ones to their cars. Do you tell Mr. Skakel (a) "not on your life" or (b) "after we lock up the golf clubs" or (c) "why don't you catch a ride home with Teddy?"

49. Explain why progressives seem to spend so much time on sexuality and sexual issues, but don't appear to get any (judging by their pinched little faces).

50. Explain whom you would prefer accompany you in a dark alley in a rough part of town and why: (a) Dick Cheney (b) Harry Reid (c) Howard Dean (d) John Kerry

I love your dolls