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September 28, 2005
Feminists Laud First Female Suicide Bomber in Iraq
(The following piece is a political satire.)
The first known woman suicide bomber in Iraq, killing at least six Iraqi army recruits and wounding 35, has been hailed as a trailblazer by feminists.
Gloria Steinem, considered the mother of modern feminism, had only words of praise for the nameless woman. "When a woman steps into a role formerly dominated by men and makes it her own, then women everywhere benefit by her courage and fortitude. She is an example of where perseverance and persistence can bring you." Steinem then had a pertinent question regarding the bombing. "Was she wearing a bra?"
Echoing those sentiments was Eve Ensler, creator of the Vagina Monologues and crusader against violence toward women. "She sounds like an amazing person. By killing these men she is fighting back against the cycle of violence perpetrated by men upon women. Of course, it's too bad she had to die with them. I hope she shouted, 'My vagina wins!' when she pulled the cord."
Others were wondering how they could be a part of this groundbreaking occurrence. Lawyer Lynne Stewart offered to help with the woman's defense, but upon being reminded that the woman was dead, revised her offer to defending those who recruited the female bomber--should they decide to go public. "Of course, they'll have to wait until I find out how long I'll be in prison," the convicted lawyer chuckled.
Even some Hollywood stars are in awe of this woman whom they have never met, and now never will. "It's like, so totally awesome," said Cameron Diaz, host of the MTV show Trippin'. " "I'd love to try that on my show, but, um, I don't think the producers would go for it. It's way too dangerous. But I'm with her in spirit, you know?" she added as she boarded her private jet with Drew Barrymore as they flew to an impoverished country in Africa to shoot another episode of the program.
Finally, grieving mother Cindy Sheehan blamed the woman's act on President Bush. "People are saying this woman was brainwashed, or maybe even forced, into doing this heroic act," she declared from her jail cell in Washington D.C. "But I know what she was thinking. She knew that by blowing herself up and taking a few evil Iraqi army recruits with her, she was actually going to blow a big hole in the reason for the U.S. being in Iraq. I'd love to meet her mother. Maybe she can join my tour."
Posted by Pam at September 28, 2005 09:01 PM
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Comments
Wow - pathetic of you, and not in the least bit funny...
I don't know enough of any of those supposedly owning the lacking but obviously intented-to-be humrous quotes to know or care about for what they actually stand - short of Sheehan - honestly, that specific 'quote' is not at all a stretch...though it wouldn't be funny if she had said it - it'll merely be pathetic.
But, still, overall, you're really reaching - and, as per usual, you're attacking the desired opponents who, through their existence, allow you to ignore the reality of the responsibility of the leaders on your side.
The leaders of the party you support fail miserably and repeatedly, so you deflect by attacking self-marginalized pundits.
Neat tactic, that.
Posted by: tj at September 28, 2005 10:17 PM
NARAL took a different tact. "Another reason for abortion to be legal."
Posted by: paul at September 29, 2005 01:16 AM
Ha Ha that was great Pam.
You know you hit one out of the ball park when the lefturds show up and get their panties in a bunch over your post.
Posted by: Chris at September 29, 2005 01:21 AM
Wow, Paul, I didn't know you had it in you! Thanks for the kudos, Chris. And TJ, as always, your comments are noted.
Posted by: Pam at September 29, 2005 05:46 AM
TJ has NO sense of humor!
I love the post, Pam. You're becoming the Scott Ott of LLP!
Posted by: Aaron Matthew Arnwine at September 29, 2005 09:38 AM
LOL! That was terrific, Pam!
Posted by: Pat Curley at September 29, 2005 12:43 PM
"...your comments are noted."
- wow, whatever the intent of that statement, it was put very reasonably and kindly - intended that way or not :). Thank you.
Aaron - I have an insane sense of humor. Giant, actually - that humongous woman you posted before, for example - I have more than a few Wal-Mart jokes in my head for the caption contest - but, they wouldn't fit the political flavor of this site or the remaining content of that picture.
However, I expect absolutely no one in the world to empathize with what I find humorous.
As per the usual - I just call them like I see 'em...and don't expect agreement.
Posted by: tj at September 29, 2005 02:43 PM