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May 13, 2005
Rumsfeld Closes Arkansas
Washington, D.C.- In addition to advocating the closing of 33 military bases across the U.S., Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld announced the government would close the entire state of Arkansas as well. "We'll save millions. And most people living their won't notice a damned thing," added the Secretary. The Pentagon said in a related statement that this was a forward-looking project. "We figure the next step may be combining North and South Dakota. Who the hell knows the difference unless they live there?" asked an anonymous Pentagon analyst. Iowa could not be reached for comment. Also under consideration is selling off mid-sized cities in Ohio. "Cleveland, Cincinnati, Columbus. They all start with the letter 'C', they all have the same damned donut shops and malls, and they sure were a pain in the ass during the last election," Rumsfeld continued.
Posted by ProfShade at May 13, 2005 01:47 PM
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Comments
Where did you find this, too funny.
Posted by: IaintBacchus at May 13, 2005 02:32 PM
PROF IRKS RUMSFELD!
Gnat Grudge Exclusive!
Confidential sources report that Rumsfeld is irked at Prof for retiring the bodacious bombshell, Sneezin' Suzie.
"What in hell's bells was the man thinking? Is he blind to the asset she performed?"
No comment from Prof.
Developing ...
Posted by: kitty at May 13, 2005 03:02 PM
Iaint: I found it inside my keyboard. Kitty: Suzie is being held hostage in a pepper factory...developed...
Posted by: ProfShade at May 13, 2005 04:10 PM
I'll say she's "developed"!
Posted by: kitty at May 13, 2005 04:36 PM
Ok, that's it. Profshade for President!
Posted by: IaintBacchus at May 13, 2005 04:53 PM
Canon AFB here in Clovis New Mexico got the axe. Kirtland AFB, in Albuquerque, will grow in size. I'm in Albuquerque so the Kirtland growth will be good. Sucks if you are in Clovis. All they have there is dairies, a cheese factory and the reek of cow crap.
Funniest thing is Dems like Udall and Bill Richardson are going to fight the closure. Richardson just released 300K in state funds to lobby to keep Canon AFB open. Udall is whining. These 2 stab the military and war effort in the back every chance they get. Now, they are fighting to keep alive the very thing they despise. Udall said he will go to Bush directly. Fat chance it will help. This man hasn't supported our commander and chief in the least. He's an obstructionist. Doubt now that he wants something all will be forgiven.
The Canon closure is a good move. Base is wasteful and overlaps what can be done at Kirtland AFB.
Posted by: Chris at May 14, 2005 01:16 AM