I love PBS, and I've always been a big fan of Sesame Street, but this is a bit much:
Earlier this week the president of PBS, Paula Kerger, “said she’s especially concerned that children in less-affluent homes that rely on free television might lose access to PBS educational shows for kids,” including “Sesame Street,” the Associated Press reported.
Geez, they might have to read a book or a newspaper!
Like many other struggling attorneys, I am struggling. A dead real estate market hurts anyone who isn't a patent specialist, or a criminal defense lawyer, or Caroline "You Know" whatsher-Kennedy. So, like many other lawyers, I post in, and review the postings in, Chicago Craigslist's legal services. I've found some very good clients there. I've also found some morons, some crooks, some schemers, several deadbeats, and enough personal horror stories to keep Jerry Springer running for five more seasons. (Hey, it's free, so it attracts all kinds.)
So, Aaron actually wants me to post about this, can you believe it? I should be working, but what the hey, it beats sending out emails to people to specifically ask that they quit sending me more Obama birth certificate crap.
Without further ado...not that I had any ado earlier, it gives me heartburn, I present to you my most (un)favorite postings from Chicago's Craigslist:
First up is MR. PHONE. He has a phone number that spells out A-T-T-O-R-N-E-Y. He'll sell it for the right price! I see this ad once a week. Dude, no one gives a sh*t. People don't hire lawyers based on what their phone number spells, and the few people that might would dial L-A-W-Y-E-R, not A-T-T-O-R-N-E-Y.
Our second contestant is High Ethics & Low Fees. He posts near-daily. I've had clients ask me to do many things, not one has actually asked me to be ethical. I'm betting the 'Low Fees' part pulls in people. Especially the idiots who think that every lawyer they talk to works on contingency. Which brings us to...
Our third contestant, Drive out to DuPage for free! His ad is about once every two weeks, where he gives a very complicated explanation of his case, and in the bottom he buries the fact that he has no money. He's posting in Chicago for a lawyer to drive out to another county every day, for nothing. Her'es a hint, jackass: I did not kill myself for 3+ years and gain six figures of student loan debt so that I could drive to DuPage for free every day.
But, our winner is our fourth contestant. He is posting from Seattle, for a lawyer in Chicago, to sue someone over an illegal microchip that makes him hum computers off-balance. And to let me know how serious he is, he types ALL IN CAPS. I'm sure that he also believes that Obama is not a U.S. citizen, or that Trig Palin's real mother is Bristol Palin, or that we really didn't land on the moon, or that 9/11/01 was the first time in history that fire melted steel.
That's all for now, folks. I actually have work to do.
I am only doing this before I throw out this EW in the trash where it list all the nominees.
1. Milk will win best picture and best actor so both can give speeches about the passage of Proposition 8 in California and somehow tie it to the civil rights struggle.
2. Kate Winslet will win best actress for Revolutionary Road because she's nominated twice in two categories.
3. Heath Ledger will win best supporting actor posthumously.
4. Marisa Tomei will win best supporting actress simply to validate what people felt was a fluke with My Cousin Vinny.
5. Best Director will go to Christopher Nolan for the Dark Knight because it should win best picture, but a statement must be made for the gays - back of the bus you go....
6. Best Adapted Screenplay will go to Frost/Nixon so someone can come and remind us of Nixon, compare him to Bush and how we are in the new "O Glow!"
7. Best Original Screenplay will go to WALL*E so that we can be reminded that even as the earth has been cooling for the last ten year, Global Warming is real which is why we needed to do an animated movie to prove it.
Minnesota Supreme Court Rejects [next to] Last Gasp for former Senator Norm Coleman
The leader after both the initial recount (by 49 votes) a later count after the State Canvassing Board's decision to include 933 wrongly rejected absentee ballots (by 225 votes), Democratic candidate Al Franken appears to have secured the junior senate seat from Minnesota with a victory in the state's high court.
The Canvassing Board counted only absentee ballots both candidates agreed were wrongly rejected.
The Minnesota Supreme Court has decided not force the State Canvassing Board to include absentee ballots not agreed on as wrongly rejected by both parties (and by local canvassing officials), holding the Board's decision was administrative and beyond the purview of the court. The decision leaves the Coleman campaign free to pursue and election contest, which will be filed by tomorrow afternoon, according to the campaign spokesman.
The Coleman campaign will sue to have the Canvassing Board's tally rejected.
"There can be no recount that is accurate or valid when 654 potentially valid absentee votes remain disenfranchised and when some votes are counted twice," Trimble said. Despite earlier praise for the work of the Canvassing Board, Trimble said today that "there can be no confidence in the current results of the United States recount."
State law requires any law suit be settled before the State Canvassing Board's tally is accepted and the election has an official winner.
Even if the 654 disputed absentee ballots are included, and the "double-counted" ballots are thrown out, there is no guarantee Coleman will come out ahead in a new, court-ordered recount.
Al Franken Leads Minnesota Senate Recount by 225 Votes with Court Challenges Ahead
Looks like Minnesota Senate Republican Norm Coleman has lost his senate seat. Coleman's lead evaporated after:
1. The decision by the state's Canvassing Board to include improperly rejected absentee ballots in the recount; and,
2. The decision to use machine totals, rather than recount results, in a heavily-leaning Democratic district in Minneapolis, where more than 100 ballots were mislaid after election day.
Coleman now wants officials to include 654 absentee ballots it says were improperly rejected, mostly from Republican-leaning districts. Coleman also believes some ballots were double counted.
I'd guess these last ditch efforts are unlikely to return Coleman the his seat. Even if the state court decides that the decision to use the election day machine totals in Minneapolis should be reversed, Coleman will pull closer, but not enough to win the state.
But I've been wrong before: I predicted Senator Coleman's lead would hold up through the recount process, and right now I'm trying to pry my foot outta my mouth.
Sarah Palin - Maxim’s #2 Hottest Politician in the World
Some Italian model cum politician beat her....
2. Sarah Palin, U.S.A. Position: Governor of Alaska, GOP VP nominee Party: Republican After being crowned Miss Wasilla in 1984, Sarah Barracuda snatched up the mayoral seat 12 years later, garnering a groundswell of 616 votes. Looking to shake up his presidential campaign (and [cough, cough] lure away Hillary supporters [cough, cough]), McCain picked as his running mate the only person keeping our 49th state from being annexed by the Russians. (Sorry, Alaska, you can´t hide hotties like her up there without some needling.)
What we have is a truly American woman, which is in itself hotter than any other international breeding. What's most important, as pointed out in Newsbusters is that all the stylistas in the leftwing newspapers are calling Michelle O's totally inappropriate apparel "hot" and saying Palin looked like a Walmart shopper. What snobbery is this?
There were lots ofcontenders [sic] for thistitle [sic]. Dannii Minogue, the Geldof girls, Beyoncé, Madonna in that [sic] dress made of grass. But the award simply has to go to Sarah Palin, who may have spent $150,000 on six suits but still resembled a hopelessly sexless, up [sic] hockey mom who buys all her clothes from Wal-Mart.
“Hermit Style” (Blue, Fictional Writing by Aaron Matthew Arnwine)
This is a group blog, but the question is - can I post blue (pornographic) fictional writing? Of course I can because I pays the bills. I will, however, hide it underneath the "see more" section.
Kitty, Pam, Paul, Charles, Gayle and others: I would love to hear your critique of the writing itself sans subject matter.
We blog so much on current events/politics that we never get to dabble into fictional writing. Kitty's claimed for the last two years that she's stopped blogging to write fiction; it must be an epic.
But I never write this way and just had a spark and a flash of scenes of yore in my days of haze witnessing some of the more perverted expressions of pleasure most people do not encounter sans better living through chemistry.
So read and CRITIQUE! (please???? i need silly, teenage like affirmation since I haven't written trash like this since I was a teenager!)
Jeremy is finally home. Alone in my little apt. Yeah, that’s how i do it, hermit style! Jeremy at 6:53pm
Thats what I heard about you, you like it hermit style..... doesnt that make you go blind? Summer at 7:02pm
if only I was there to keep you satiated… Aaron Matthew Arnwine at 7:02pm
leave it to the two of you to turn something innocent into something dirty. Get your minds outta the gutter! Jeremy at 7:50pm
You cant kick my mind out of the gutter!! Where will it live??!! Summer at 7:53pm
“Get your minds outta the gutter!” Jeremy retorted as he drew open the middle drawer of his nightstand exposing a jar of Elbow Grease and a ShamWow covered with his expired essence.
Slowly, Jeremy unscrews the lid to the Elbow Grease and with two fingers scoops up the already melting batter. With his other hand he reaches underneath the bed and slides out a wooden cigar box, flips the lid and removes a 3” (diameter) butt-plug.
With all the care of a master chef putting the final touches on a wedding cake, Jeremy coats the black latex spade with the icing still melting on his two fingers. Then, with his rugby sized thighs flexing, he slides down on the scepter like a king mounting his throne. Jeremy clinches his teeth as the lips of his rosebud slide open wider and wider until cresting the mushroom head of the black rubber like a tire being mounted on an expensive rim; his hole puckers closed around the thin stem of the plug now firmly locked in place.
Jeremy’s insides begin to warm as blood rushes from all over his body to his love center - his prostate now engorged, sensitive and tender to every touch and movement.
The once tired and flaccid flesh between his his still tense thighs now throbs; Jeremy can hear the pulse of his meat beating between his ears. Afraid, he dares not to touch it as it has already begun dripping with anticipation. Glancing up and down at the long and vascular event that unfolded, he excites himself with the site of his own prowess.
Drip. Drip. Drip.
Knowing that any movement would end what Jeremy likes to call his “Hermit Style” position, he relaxes only his arms to lay beside him. Betrayal! His right elbow knocks the remote on the floor changing the blue, ambient screen on his television to the middle of the UFC 88 tournament.
The fighter wearing nothing but box-cut briefs has the opponent pinned to the mat. With his ankles swollen through the athletic tape, he presses them harder squeezing the opponent’s arms together; his knees being rubbed raw as he sits on the neck of his opponent holding him still while he lays blow after blow to his sweat drenched face. The man on top continues his barrage not realizing his sack is sitting squarely on the defeated’s chin - that if he moved forward by one inch, he could choke his opponent without his legs or arms.
The scene is too much for Jeremy to handle in the stillness of his small apartment. The dripping becomes more furious until Jeremy finally tries to grab it, but he is too late.
His scrotum contracts, his lips still pressed firmly around the butt plug squeeze it further inside, his prostate still tender gives way and for the first time his mouth lets out a moan of ecstasy, victory and guilt all at once.
The dripping stops and out pours the milk only a man can make from the stress of a long day, the desires of his mind, the heaviness of the heart and the pleasure in the guilt of the mess to be cleaned with a Sham Wow.
But as Jeremy looks around his sparse apartment with sheets that need changing, no clean underwear or towel in sight, and with the Elbow Grease from the butt plug now leaving a ring on his pillow - a sense of shame and loneliness enshroud him as the darkness of the UFC credits fades back to that empty blue DVD screen projecting light on the life of a bachelor that lives alone, “Hermit Style,” unaware that even in his early 30s life is just beginning.
His thoughts are now on sleep and making sure he gets up in time for his next day on the job where he will wait all day anticipating coming home, alone, “Hermit Style."Jeremy stands up on his bed and looks around the room in a panorama and then fixes his stare outside to the skyline that parts the desert. Lost in his apartment, staring at the mirage, he waits.
Maybe there’s something else to all this; maybe there’s something I’m missing he ponders. Then he realizes what he’s forgotten all along as he reaches down to grab hold…
That's right! 2009 will LLP's biggest year ever. We have big plans like getting our share of the TARP money (the blogger bailout 2009) and my scheme to start selling carbon credits at Reagan National to landscape our members' homes.
But before we can get crackin' on 2009, we have to pay tribute to 2008. One of the best ways to get started is with the Annual MRC's Media Bash of 2008's most notable quotes by journos; try these two on for size:
“In many ways, it was less a speech than a symphony. It moved quickly, it had high tempo, at times inspiring, then it became more intimate, slower, all along sort of interweaving a main theme about America’s promise, echoes of Lincoln, of King, even of Reagan and of Kennedy....It was a masterpiece.”
— CNN’s David Gergen during live coverage following Obama’s convention speech, August 28.
“Some princes are born in palaces. Some are born in mangers. But a few are born in the imagination, out of scraps of history and hope....Barack Hussein Obama did not win because of the color of his skin. Nor did he win in spite of it. He won because at a very dangerous moment in the life of a still young country, more people than have ever spoken before came together to try to save it. And that was a victory all its own.”
— Time’s Nancy Gibbs, Nov. 17 cover story.
Here is a summary of the relevant passage [click on the link above for full set of notes]:
Philippians 3:4-6 – though I myself have reasons for such confidence. If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more:
1. circumcised on the eighth day
2. of the people of Israel
3. of the tribe of Benjamin
4. a Hebrew of Hebrews
5. in regard to the law, a Pharisee
6. as for zeal, persecuting the church
7. as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.
Philippians 3:7 – But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.
Philippians 3:8 – "What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ"
corrected translation:
"and I conclude them as shit, that I may gain Christ"
Paul now understood that his gains/profits apart from a spiritual life with Christ were nothing but shit.
Repudiation of the Mosaic Law for Righteousness
Philippians 3:9 – and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith.
Galatians 2:15-16 – We who are Jews by birth and not 'Gentile sinners' know that a man is not justified by observing the law, but by faith in Jesus Christ. So we, too, have put our faith in Christ Jesus that we may be justified by faith in Christ and not by observing the law, because by observing the law no one will be justified.
The aside on this is hilarious. The pastor was trying to joke around (since Easter was the following Sunday) that all these old but familiar faces begin showing up thinking it's good luck. He mentioned all the young girls who brought boys with them hoping something would "rub out on them, er, ah, rub off on them." HILARIOUS!
